Friday, February 9, 2007

Woah. Did He Just Say That Out Loud?

Originally posted: June 6, 2006

Wo - wo - wo - wo - woah. Did Bill O'Reilly seriously say "Stop Ann Coulter" AND "we appreciate Senator Kerry" in the same column? Somebody else PLEASE check this out and tell me I misread O'Reilly's Talking Points on Fox News Online yesterday, June 8. Either that, or there is a fretful intern over at Fox who is wishing he had spent the summer making lanyards instead.

Oh wait a second--I get it! June 8 was Opposite Day! Ok, this makes much more sense. Ohhh, right--so when my boyfriend told me he can't stand to look at my face anymore, he was trying to tell me he loves me and wants to be together forever! Woops. I guess I shouldn't have slit his throat.

Anyway, 'tis true: Bill O' Reilly has condemned the beloved Ann Coulter for her recent blitzkrieg on four politi-blogging 9/11 widows for USING A TRAGEDY TO MANIPULATE PUBLIC OPINION FOR THEIR OWN POLITICAL BENEFIT. Coulter accuses these women of shamefully exploiting their painful losses in 9/11 to win favor for their destructively open-minded world-views. 9/11 can and should only be used to rally Americans into terrified hawkishness and isolationism!

What's terrifying to me is that Fox News could allow O' Reilly, champion of the people, to conform with the rest of our liberal media in his reasonable objection to Coulter. If we can't rely on Fox to be (the opposite of) Fair and Balanced, how will we know to not take anything they say seriously? This ruins everything.

P.S. Get Ann Coulter's new book, "Godless," for only $4.99! Perfect for lighting on fire and throwing through Planned Parenthood windows.

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