Friday, February 9, 2007

Those Flags Will Burn in Hell

June 28, 2006

True patriots loathe flag-burners. But they LOVE Boy Scouts. So how can they (we) tolerate ritualistic, pagan Boy Scout flag-burning? (Although, does the woman above maybe look like Cindy Sheehan cleverly disguised as a den mother? That would explain everything).
Well, Boy Scouts and pedophiles and insurgents alike can safely burn flags to their heart's content this 4th of July, no thanks to Congress. A proposed ammendment that would allow Congress to ban flag-burning forever failed by one vote yesterday. If I were feeling optimistic I'd use this as a jazzy plug for democracy, See what one vote can do! Just one! But since I'm feeling like myself, this just confirms for me that 2/3 of Congress minus one are a-holes.
If you ask me, this particular ammendment just wasn't specific enough--you have to take into consideration the sentiment in which the flag is burned. What is the flag-burner thinking about at the time of burning? Is the burner American-born, are they in a relationship with the flag at the time of burning? What is the flag's sexual history?

Orrin Hatch (Utah, R), the ammendment's chief backer, made this compelling pre-vote plea: "Nobody loses a thing by voting for this, and we gain a great deal by supporting our troops, our veterans." Yeah right! Nobody loses, except the 3 to 4 people responsible for the 3 to 4 flag burnings that take place each year. If Congress really wanted to support our troops, you'd think they'd direct some of this energy toward financing Cher and Operation Helmet.


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