Monday, November 19, 2007

Bedtime Fun with Bethany Grundle: Kissing Pandas

It's Bedtime Fun with Bethany Grundle is a weekly news report from the most precocious reporter on the webwaves. The Grundle report gives you the straight story from an independent news source with absolutely no corporate ties. Gritty? Yes. Sexy? Yes. This week: Bethany explores the phenomenon of kissing pandas!

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Beginning of a Beautiful Campaign

I spoke briefly with my friend Tillman the other day and we planned my future. He is just home from a tour in Iraq (not in connection to the military, just for leisure) and is contemplating his next steps in terms of dating and securing political office. We decided a convenient arrangement that would further both of our professional goals of soon becoming President of the United States would be to get married and run as a husband/wife ticket, with the man as President (because of the military service, he's our way in). We'll offer a delicious blend of righteous diplomacy and enlightened justice. We'll get ourselves elected. Then over the course of the next few years, we coordinate an agreed-upon adultery scandal, which I weather with grace and dignity, then we switch and I get to run as President, although at this point I have to make myself appear more conservative to win the confidence of a sexist public. I'll have to make over my public image as a tough cookie, a war hawk, a forgiving domestic partner, Jesus is my co-pilot, etc. And then I'll get elected and I'll get my turn as President, with husband/co-conspirator as VP.*

*Still unclear about whether this is legal.

Anyway, I wanted to let you all know what my plans are for the next 8 or 12 years. Also, although I have arranged myself a politically strategic marriage, I'm not excluding the possibility of a series of heated passionate affairs with various models and state department officials. So, vote for us! Also, if we could secure a few thousand million dollars from friends and family in the next few days that would be great.

Thursday, November 8, 2007

Thoughts on Writing, Actual Writing, and Getting Carried Away Abroad

If you're wondering why I haven't been blogging this week, then somehow you haven't heard about a little thing called the Writers' Strike?! In honor of the Writers' Guild I have refrained from doing any writing all week, in solidarity. I'm kidding - my blog is non-union, and I have been lazy. BUT: the Strike is a huge deal and is really affecting the Los Angeles community, many of my friends have been laid off and there are some shows that will not likely come back after the strike ends. Not only that, with studios shutting down production I'm sure a lot of other industries will be affected, food, transport, textiles, etc. I mean, this is a really big deal. And everyone should understand why this is happening. Here is a simple, compelling video, put out by a writer, explaining the strike. It's called "Why We Fight."

I also haven't been finding anything super jazz-worthy this week, I'm not depressed, just not particularly jazzed about anything. And then I heard this story and got suddenly interested. It's kind of weird. But hear me out.

So this American college student, Amanda Knox, was studying abroad in Perugia, Italy...

having the time of her life. She met this boy there two weeks ago (possibly in an internet cafe?), they began a relationship, and now they are the prime suspects in her roommate's murder. The roommate, Meredith Kercher (21), was found dead in their apartment on Friday after police say she was stabbed while fighting off a sexual assault. Police have put forth suggestions that Knox and her male companion may have tried to involve Kercher in a sex act and then killed her when she refused.

Knox is from Seattle where everyone who knows her say they are absolutely stunned. Her friends, the art gallery where she interned, no one can believe this is possible. And herein lies the magic of study abroad! There is alcohol and drugs aplenty, bold men with long hair in linen pants, the air is crisper, love is sweeter, and endless possibilities await on the road to adventure.

Anyway, this story is sick, agreed, but it has led me to a few conclusions.

  • People do crazy things in foreign countries. Like buy a leather jacket. So murder is not really that far off.
  • Love can get you carried away, especially when it's new, exotic, and uncomplicated by details such as a rap sheet.

  • You can never really know anyone.

  • At any point someone can turn on you and kill you. Especially your roommate you just met.

Have a great weekend!