Friday, February 9, 2007

Frito Lay: Yesterday, Tomorrow, and Always

Originally posted: April 17, 2006

Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. --Mark Twain.

If this be true, then my Baked Flaming Hot Cheetos will fight any food it wants to the death--and win. I always said that if Frito-Lay started making these I would give them my first born, but that was when I didn't think it could be done. And now they have, they've done it, and at first I considered it an even trade. But subconsciously I suspected I might want that child back someday so I followed the Frito-Lay people into the forest and watched while they danced around a pagan fire--long story short, now I know their real names and can keep my unborn (unconceived) baby. (Anyone? Rumplestiltskin?)

I'm sure these won't last because only boys like them and boys don't care about calories, but if there are indeed other girls out there that yearn for the tangy Cheeto burn with about 1/3 of the fat content, don't be shy. Stand proud, stay strong. Wipe your cheeto-stained fingers wherever you effing want to. And Frito, if you're listening: thank you.


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