Hooters to Open New Location

Great news! The popular chain, Hooters, is opening a quality restaurant in a new location: Baghdad! Now Iraqis too can cool off after a long day at work with cold beer and a plate of fire wings while ignoring their wives' text messages. Here are direct quotes from Hooters spokesman, Mike McNeil:

“For the most part, it will be identical to what you’re going to see in the United States — the same uniform for the girls, chicken wings and burgers,” he said.

Asked about any religious concerns about Hooters opening in Iraq, McNeil said, “We’re not aware of any concerns at this point.”

Oh my gosh, that sounds absurd. You know there's no Hooters opening in Iraq. But swap out Iraq for Israel, and you'll have a true story. Oh, of course! That makes more sense.