Monday, April 2, 2007

Gingers, Beware!!

Oh my God. I just got terrible news from Details Magazine! They told me that by the year 2100 (which is NOT THAT LONG FROM NOW) the redheaded gene in humans will be completely extinct! What? Why is this not being made a bigger deal of?!

Okay. Currently 4% of the world's population are natural redheads. Which makes us (yes, people--"auburn" counts) a serious minority. And um...I don't know if you assholes care, but the systematic elimination of a minority group is called GENOCIDE. And it's not interesting, Details Magazine, it's fucked up.

I'm seriously really scared right now. What happens if me or one of my potential offspring with another ginger live to the year 2100? Are you going to kill us, Details Magazine, to prove a point?

Well, at least now I know my calling. I'm going to go out and make lots of babies with redheaded men to make sure this prophecy from Details' Nostradamus doesn't come to fruition. It will be like the plot of Children of Men except with higher stakes.

And in the meantime, I'm getting blonde highlights so I don't end up having to hide out in some attic writing my memoirs.


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