Area Woman Can't Tell if She Ironically or Sincerely Wants Lasagna for Lunch

Area woman Jessie Gaskell found herself at the heart of a troubling conundrum Wednesday when she was unable to diagnose her desire for lasagna as an ironic throwback or a sincere craving. “I haven’t had lasagna in, like, 10 years – but for some reason it sounds really good right now!” she said aloud to her cubemates around noon. “I kind of almost want to go to Ralph’s and get one of those frozen microwave dinners, is that totally gross of me?”

After eliciting only raised eyebrows from peers, many of whom refused to remove their headphones, Gaskell continued to muse out loud to herself. “I can’t believe I’m thinking of getting lasagna for lunch right now. What is this, ‘The Wonder Years?’ How good of a show was that, by the way?”

Gaskell polled coworkers for over 15 minutes on whether a sincere eating of lasagna would be considered socially acceptable before concluding that it was too much trouble to actually make it happen. “I mean, it’s not like it’s so important to me to have lasagna,” Gaskell announced, finally. “I just thought it sounded kind of funny.”