Disney announced this week that Roger Ebert’s thumbs, known for issuing the patented “Two Thumbs Up” movie rating, have been removed from his show until further notice. What began as a contract dispute between Ebert and Disney has now jeopardized the future of Two Thumbs Up and potentially changed movie criticism history forever.I was enraged by the news but luckily snagged an interview with the Thumbs via satellite (my talent agent has been working overtime). Transcript follows.
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ME: Good morning guys, thanks for coming on today. So tell me a little about what went down over there at Disney?
THUMBS: F-ing contract dispute. Their opening offer was an abomination. Do they honestly think we'd re-up with a 40/60 residuals split? Hell nah.
ME: So, then you counter–offered?
THUMBS: Yeah. Ebert was fully supportive of our very reasonable $20 million counter but those tightwad Disney execs said there wasn’t a budget for appendages. They can suck a thumb.
ME: How'd you leave it?
THUMBS: Well…there was a minor altercation with the bronze mouse and a security guard died…anyway, we were “emancipated.” Now we’re seeking our own representation.
ME: Yikes. Well, glad to see you guys taking the initiative. Who’s the thumbs with two thumbs? Anyone said that to you yet? You know - like "who's the guy with two thumbs?" Except, with thumbs? Huh?
THUMBS: We’re gesturing to you obscenely with ourselves.
THUMBS: F-ing contract dispute. Their opening offer was an abomination. Do they honestly think we'd re-up with a 40/60 residuals split? Hell nah.
ME: So, then you counter–offered?
THUMBS: Yeah. Ebert was fully supportive of our very reasonable $20 million counter but those tightwad Disney execs said there wasn’t a budget for appendages. They can suck a thumb.
ME: How'd you leave it?
THUMBS: Well…there was a minor altercation with the bronze mouse and a security guard died…anyway, we were “emancipated.” Now we’re seeking our own representation.
ME: Yikes. Well, glad to see you guys taking the initiative. Who’s the thumbs with two thumbs? Anyone said that to you yet? You know - like "who's the guy with two thumbs?" Except, with thumbs? Huh?
THUMBS: We’re gesturing to you obscenely with ourselves.
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That was the gist of the interview. Sounds like it's a pretty serious Disney/Thumbs rift, and I think I've settled pretty securely in the Thumb camp. Those dudes work hard, I mean, practically every movie made gets Two Thumbs Up, right? I'm pretty sure Daddy Day Camp got Two Thumbs. Maybe they'll start to use themselves with a little more discretion.
Possible future Thumbs project:
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