Wednesday, February 6, 2008


So you consider yourself a friend of the Earth. But maybe you and Earth have been drifting apart lately, after all, it's so hard to maintain correspondence when you both have such busy schedules. She canceled on your brunch two weeks ago, and then a meeting came up when you were supposed to meet for drinks. You're afraid your friendship is doomed. Not so - because now you can be friends with the Earth on Myspace!

I know what you're thinking - where has She been, right?! Living on another planet? Ha, ha. But maybe she didn't think she really needed a Myspace page, being the Earth and all, since all of us are already on her all the time. And then she realized, you know what, it is a good way to post events and keep people updated about her comedy shows and share cool internet videos, etc, so now she's entered the social networking community and ready to be your friend.
Wait...wait a second. It says here the Earth is male, 45 years old and lives in Ontario, Canada. How can this be? Is this an imposter Earth? Is this going to turn out like the time I thought I was communicating with the late Marlene Dietrich via Friendster? I don't like to be lied to, Myspace. I don't like it at all. Hopefully Earth is just undercover and trying to keep skeezy men from hitting on her. She is, after all, a MILF.

Incidentally, you can also be friends with Moon, Sun, and most of the planets in our solar system on Myspace. Yay for universal* connectivity!

*Literally, within the universe!

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