I don't usually use SeriouslyJazzed as a forum for personal reflection, mostly because it seems unethical for me to be getting paid so much to talk about my personal life. But I just had a pretty uplifting experience involving two of the resolutions (or "goals" if you are cliche-phobic) I made for 2008. The first of these is "Be happier." That might sound too simple or sweeping to some of you but I really think I can make this work. If I just take the time to be more present and grateful for the moments and experiences in my life, and really focus on how they're making me happy, won't I just be happier? We'll find out.
The second resolution came about with a friend as I was in the midst of resolving to "eat more organic," "ride my bike more," "volunteer more," "make a website," "write a screenplay," etc, and she suggested "Feel Less Guilty." At first I felt bad about how guilty I'm always feeling, haha, but I resolved to feel less so.
ANYWAY. Today it is raining and I wanted to go for a run. I thought, "I'll run in the rain - how fun and eccentric of me!" So I put on running tights and a water-resistant jacket and went out to run. Then I remembered two things: 1) "water-resistant" is not the same thing as "water-proof." 2) "Eccentric" is a euphemism for "Mentally deranged."
Within minutes I was completely soaked. I don't know why in my head this wasn't obvious - I guess I was picturing the rain gently caressing my eyelids while I remained comfortable underneath my clothes. But imagine jumping into a pool wearing a full jacket and pants and shoes, then getting out and running. The water didn't drain or get "wicked" away, it seeped into my clothes and shoes and stayed there. I thought I would have to turn around immediately and even then I might not make it home alive. But then I started warming up and some wonderful things happened.
First, because my ipod was on under my jacket I couldn't reach it to switch the songs, which I usually do compulsively, listening to about 5 seconds of each song. So I had to sit through the entirety of every song, including the Jingle Cats version of "White Christmas" (which also features dogs). And without the ability to control my playlist, I found myself relaxing and focusing less on the music and more on my surroundings. And because I was soaking wet, I didn't think at all about the discomfort of physical exertion. I completely surrendered control of these things and just enjoyed the raindrops on my cheeks and the sensation of cold after stepping in a puddle and then my foot warming up again. And I really had fun.
I did cut the run short, but I didn't feel bad about it.
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