Unicorn Dreamscape

A- ha! What's that you say, teachers, parents, scientists? Unicorns don't exist? Or perhaps you've just been brainwashed into becoming pawns for a military-industrial conspiracy to squash the hopes and dreams of children so they can't change the world?

Unicorns do exist, and this is proof. My entire childhood, vindicated! I was the original unicorn queen. I had unicorn everything. I owned every piece of tacky fluorescent unicorn art in existence, plus figurines, flatware, bedding, 365-day calendars. I wasn't one of these uni-come-latelys getting all ironically interested in unicorns because they're on a shirt at Urban Outfitters that says "I'm uni-horny" or some crap like that. I truly loved and admired the unicorn, from its powerful, supple hindquarters, to its ruthlessly sharp golden horn. The unicorn stood for everything that was beautiful in the world and everything I myself wanted to grow up to be.

Admittedly, this real-life unicorn is somewhat less glamorous than the one that danced through my dreamscape. It was born in a nature preserve in Italy to what we call "norm parents" (regular old Roe deer) but with a special spectacular horn and magical healing powers. It is aptly named "Unicorn" (just further proof that adults have lost their capacity for wonder).

But what the existence of this unicorn tells me is a) where there is one, there have to be clouds full of others, living in castles and traveling via rainbow - that's just logical. And b) when you dare to dream, anything in the world is possible. What a delightful, inspiring message! And that shit is free, yo.