I Still Like Peanut Butter

When I was little and my mom and I used to make chocolate chip cookies, she would tell me to watch out and make sure I didn't eat too much of the raw cookie dough because I might get salmonella. Well, I did eat too much cookie dough and I didn't get salmonella.

Which leads me to believe that salmonella is a disease mothers made up to get their kids not to eat too much of really good things.

I, for one, am not going to fall for it.

Jessie

Jazzing a Jailable Offense?

This seems to be the case in Egypt, where a blogger* has been sentenced to four years behind bars for posting insults about Islam and some dude named Hosni.**

Abdel Karim Soliman, whose nom de blog is Karim Amer, was expelled from University and was then found guilty of inciting sedition and insulting things*** in a five-minute court session. That sucks right? I guess blogging is like driving: a privilege, not a right. I’m just glad I’m privileged; thanks America.

We are on your side Karim! If you get wi-fi in prison, visit seriouslyjazzed.com!

From Brian!

*that is him in the picture, behind bars. He seems nice.
**Hosni Mubarak has been the president of Egypt for the last 24 years.
***yeah, insulting things.

How We Gonna Pay Lent?

This year's Lent, next year's Lent? Lent, Lent, Lent, Le-ent, Lent!

So, Lent started yesterday. I totally appreciate traditions of all forms and I love that people honor them in these reckless times. But remember how participating in Lent used to be "trendy?" And popular sorority girls would give up things like "sugar" when you knew they just wanted to diet, and guys would give up things like "cussing" because that would be the ultimate sacrifice for them. Except, then if they accidentally said a bad word, it would be like, woops! Oh well. And God never punished them or anything. I've also heard people say they were giving up things like "exercise," which I also don't think is in the spirit of the holiday.

Is Lent actually considered a holiday, though? I don't even know. Aren't you supposed to do things you normally wouldn't do on holidays? Not not do things you do normally do. Either way, Happy Lent! Or, Productive Lent, or whatever it is you say about Lent.

Jessie

Jazzed in the USSR

Does it feel like we haven't heard anything from Russia lately? Remember when all we heard about was Russia? I hope they're okay.

They say you should keep your friends close and your enemies closer. But does that mean when you stop being enemies you have to drift apart? Where do all those feelings go? They can't just disappear.

I hope you guys are okay.
Jessie

Everyone Celebrates Valentine's Day a Little Differently

There you go. Are you happy now? See what Valentine's Day does to people? It's hard not to have a special person today. But I think the important lesson here is that loneliness is universal. A jilted lover is a jilted lover, whether a jihadist or a gay cowboy.

So folks...tell the people in your life you love them. Otherwise they'll get really bummed out today.

Jessie

Make Robots! Make, Make Robots!

How sweet is this! This website (Paper Robots) shows you how to cut and make your own TRANSFORMER ROBOT out of paper!! What? I can't be serious. BUT I AM. You can make your very own Optimus Prime out of paper, glue, string, and some markers to add color. The website goes on to elaborate:

And not only is he a fully articulate action figure, but he also TRANSFORMS INTO A TRUCK!

This may be the first fully articulate paper action robot in all of history. You know what this means, right? Not only is he capable of destruction on a massive scale but he can sublimely orate how he feels about the theme of destruction.

Blogorrhea Majora

1. blogorrhea 404 up, 79 down

To write a blog entry just for the sake of posting an entry, not because you have done anything interesting today.

I couldn't really think of anthing good to blog about, so my last post was real blogorrhea.

I didn't have anything to write about...until I saw this Urban Dictionary entry.
But...shit! Is that what this is? Is that what I'm literally doing right now? Am I a hypocrite? Or is ruminating about the act of not having something to post about a worthwhile post? Or isn't it? Post post hypocrite online. Meta.